In the giant hands of Lana Kane
by Artemis Requiem
Summary: Lana cheats on Cyril
1. Assassination

Lana and Archer sat beside each other, on the rooftop. Lana aimed the sniper and Archer watched for the target. "There!" Archer whispered, Lana kept her finger on the trigger watching every move. "1, 2, 3, now!" Lana shot, straight threw the brain. Archer yelled, "WOOO!" Lana covered his mouth, "Shut up!" The security looked up from the dead body and saw the two. "Look!" Lana punched Archer and took apart the sniper in less then a minute. She grabbed the case of the sniper and Archer's hand. Lana's heart fluttered suddenly. She let go and ran down the stairs. Archer followed laughing, "What the hell is funny about this?!" Lana yelled as she pulled a gun out of the holster. "Were being chased by Nazis!" Lana mumbled curse words to her self. "You better be glad, I'm not killing you." Archer laughed. "Really?" He shot a Nazi and grabbed more ammo from Lana's bag, just in case. "Yes, 'cause you should have your head up your ass. Right about now." Archer laughed harder, "Please." Lana smiled and shot two Nazis in the head, "Get in the chopper ass hole!" A helicopter hovered over the Nazis and Archer led Lana to it. They both hopped on and Lana hit Archer on his shoulder. "Man-Hands, What was that for? I saved your butt for the eleventeenth time!" Lana smiled, "Eleventeenth isn't a number idiot." Archer laughed, "To you it isn't."


	2. Accident

They returned to I.S.I.S headquarters and Mallory was in her office like always. "Mother, the mission was successful like always." Lana smirked, "Like always, Yyyep. Like always." Mallory poured herself some more gin. "Good to know, now I must get home, it is Christmas." She got up and left the office. Lana set down the bag on Mallory's desk and started to walk out. Archer stopped her, with a short, "La" Lana turned around, "What Archer?" She said softly. "Nothing," He said as he walked past her and out the door. Lana smiled to herself.

Lana's Apartment  
Lana sat on the couch watching t.v. when she heard a knock at her door. She looked at the time and gasped, it was 3:23 A.M. She opened the door and saw Archer with a present in his hands. "Umm, Hi?" She managed to say, she waved him in and he stepped inside setting the present on the kitchen table. "What are you doing here?" Lana asked as she looked at the present. "Woodhouse is a sleep. Plus, you are really lonely, aren't you?" Lana looked at him, "Yes, Yes I am." Archer smiled and sat on her couch. She put Gator in from their 1st week anniversary back when they were dating. She sat next to him, he put an arm around her. She grabbed the blanket off the side of the couch and cuddled into his chest. Archer smiled, and took off his shirt before putting the cover over them. They sat there for a while and then Lana felt Archer's hand accidentally grab her breast, or she hoped accidentally. She smiled and got up pulling Archer's hand off her. He smirked and Lana kissed him lightly. They made love, softly then passion going over the line.


	3. Christmas

Lana smiled when she woke up next to Archer. She got up and walked to door to the balcony. It was snowing, she smiled and looked over at the present that Archer brought. She walked to the kitchen counter and picked her phone up. '14 messages from Cyril.' It said and she looked over all them most were, 'Where are you?!' others were 'Merry Christmas.' Lana smiled when she saw Archer. Lana walked into her bedroom, she grabbed a box from under the her bed. It was covered in red wrapping paper and the top said, 'Happy Holidays, Asshole, To:Archer, From:Lana.' She laughed and took the box into the living room. Archer was still asleep so she sat at the end of his feet and put the box on the ground. She turned off Gator and watched, a Christmas special. The kid yelled and Archer woke up fast. "Morning," Lana said as she handed him the box. "What time is it?" He asked as he looked at the box. "Like 7:00. I think." Lana replied, Archer opened the box and found a brand new turtle neck. "Light Black! My favorite! I thought I bought all those?" Lana Shook her head, "I had that since last year." Archer smiled and put it on. "I love it, it fits to!" Well, Might as well get dressed, we have to get ready for work." Archer eye brow shot up, "What about your present?" Lana smiled, "I'm saving it."


	4. Cyril

"Cyril"

Lana finally got the car started and laughed when she drifted past a police car, Archer started to yell, "Wooo!" They reached I.S.I.S. and Archer got out very dizzy like. Lana smiled when he put his hand around her waist. They walked into the Laundry mat like that and they walked into the elevator like that, but when they got to the 7th floor. Archer let go 'cause he knew Cyril would be up there. Lana and Archer began their walk to Mallory's when Cyril called out Lana's name behind them. Lana pinched the bridge of her nose and Archer chuckled. "I forgot to give you this." He handed her a small black box and Lana and Archer gasped. They're was a diamond ring inside, with a note that said 'Marry me?' Lana dropped the box and stood there shaking. Archer shook her a bit and picked up the ring. "I could do better, He handed it to Cyril and picked Lana up by the waist. He walked into Mallory's office and smiled, his mother was talking to the Senator of the united states. Mallory told him good bye and turned off the screen. "What's wrong with Lana?" Mallory asked as she poured another drink, "Besides that Cyril just asked to marry her? Fine." Mallory dropped her glass. "MARRY HER?" Archer nodded and sat Lana in the chair. "Well isn't that nice?" Ron said in the back ground. "Shut up Ron. I mean it is nice. But seriously shut up." Archer chuckled, Pam walked in and laughed, "Lana and Cyril married?" She laughed harder. Cheryl then began laughing to. Then everyone started laughing except Lana who was well out cold. She woke up to Archer humming songs in his head. At his desk, at the wrong time. "Archer? God... I can't do it." Archer looked over at her and smiled. "Why not?" Lana put her face in her hands. "I don't love him." Archer looked stunned, "Why not?"  
"I only dated him because I wanted to make you jealous."  
"Oh..." Archer looked down and then up at Lana. He pulled her head out of her hands and kissed her soundly. "Then Marry me, Lana."


	5. Archer's Present

This is a requested from some viewers, I'd like to thank you.

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Archer's apartment

. Woodhouse had the day off, even though Archer didn't like it. Lana convinced him to give him it. "You're a bitch..." Lana said as she slapped Archer with flour, "I don't like cooking." He said as he rubbed his face. "Whatever." He slapped her on the ass making a hand print on her ass. She rubbed it and then threw a egg at him. It missed and hit his Bloody Mary maker. "LANA!" Lana smirked, "Don't you dare..." She said that exactly after Archer picked up another egg. "I won't then..." Lana smirked and turned around to put more ingredients in the bowl. "So... How about that present?" He said before he threw the egg at the side of her hit her and she threw a piece of bread at him. "Fine go get it..." Sterling squealed like a girl. Awkwardly... She laughed, and went back to making the cake. He came around the corner with the box. "So..." He put it on the counter, Lana opened it after wiping her hands. It had 2 vibrators, a hoodie that said, 'Danger Zone... You're in it.' and a note. That read,

_"Who's the baby daddy?"_

Lana looked at him, "Archer..." Sterling shouted 'woooo' while he held his fist in the air. She chuckled, "Wait when did we...?" Lana smiled, "Tangerine"


End file.
